I Loved the 80's!

Take the test --> BEST 80S MUSIC QUIZ

I absolutely LOVED this 80's quiz! All of you out there who sported the Flock of Seagulls 'dos, sang nonsensical The Cure songs and wore acid wash jeans -- you know who you are! Sadly, I only scored a 68! And i thought i was a true blue 80's music geek already...

Just for fun, take the quiz and let me know what you scored. :D

'Tis the season to be blogging

I'm back from my few weeks of hibernation -- lots of things have happened and lots of pics are begging to be posted! Christmas, as i expected, was a blur. Allan and I were shopping practically everyday trying to scratch out every person to give to on our list, and yet I just found out this morning that we still missed out on a few people (people who we won't be seeing in the next few weeks anyway). Gosh, there was just so much build up to the actual day itself than when Christmas family arrived, it ended also just like that. I really missed the days when we were kids when we didn't have to think about anything the whole Christmas season other than to write our wish lists to Santa, made sure they got "mailed" early to get to North Pole on time, and just wait for midnight of Christmas Eve to see if Santa would drop by. One thing I look forward to during the holiday season -- SLEEP. It's the only time in the whole 12 months of the year that I actually get to rest and not think about deadlines and clients following up on work.

Anyways, in the next few days I will be posting photos of events at work and at home, as well as kid updates, to prove that I have been busy and I haven't fallen off the edge of the earth which most of you might have concluded by now. Right now I will be posting photos of our recent My Left Hand office Xmas party which we celebrated with our team and their spouses / girlfriend. It was held at a popular Japanese resto here called Tempura where bowls of Sukiyaki, trays of Makis and Sushis, and baskets of Ebi Tempura overflowed. After a few games and a mini-raffle (where my friend Lita brought home a stand fan for her house -- lucky girl!), we moved to a bar called Cable Car and held a mini billiard tournament over glasses of margaritas and bottles of beers. It was a really fun evening because it was a match between couples, where the men got to show off their "Efren Bata Reyes" skills and women got to, uhm, do their best to not embarrass the men, hehe. I enjoyed this part of the night because billiards is one of my most favorite sports (or should I say, is the ONLY sport I am actually good at), and it gave me a chance to play after months of being pregnant. My staff Dan and his wife played a great game after competing against 3 pairs, and emerged as the billiard champs by 1am. Everyone had a fun time and gave them a chance to leave work worries behind and just chill with friends.

Everyone shows off the gifts they got after the exchange gift game

My Left Hand gang

Jennie and Rein in game mode

Kat aims and Emong cheers on

I "try" to make a difficult shot while my "competition" looks on

Not the evening's champs

Emil shows off his prize after guessing the number of colored candies in the clear mug

Thankful Thursday 44

What CHRIXEAN is thankful for this week I am thankful for all my blogging friends who've been patient enough to visit my site every so often despite my erratic postings. I know my blog hasn't been as exciting and as story-filled as before, but time is the enemy here and I really need to get my schedules fixed first before I can get back to serious blogging. I may have to take a blogging leave for a week or two, just to allow myself to finish up on work and shopping errands, and to close the office for the Christmas break to allow myself some family time and quality hours with the kids. So to everyone, goodbye for now. See you guys hopefully in two weeks! FROM ME AND MY FAMILY, MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!!! :-) "Bye! Bye! See you in a few weeks! See you in.... CLICK! what the.....?" Thank you! Thank you! I'll miss you guys! MERRY CHRISTMAS! Check back in two weeks!

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Happy Anniversary!

HAPPY 1st WEDDING ANNIVERSARY,
REIN AND JENNIE!

May God continue to bless your union with a strong bond of love and respect, good health and lots and lots (ok, maybe three at most to start) of lovely children! :-D

P.S. It says the first year is called your "Paper Anniversary"... may you be showered with lots of paper gifts -- with dollars and peso signs all over them...hehehe....

With tons of love from my family to yours...
God bless!

Thankful Thursday 43

What CHRIXEAN is thankful for this week Smiles - Can turn a bad day into a joyful one. Work - We are busy (as you guys may probably have figured) with tons of work, and I am thankful for the opportunities that the Lord continues to send our way. Family - It's my true source of joy here on earth. No matter how tired I am, I know I can be with people who I love and who will truly love me back unconditionally. Rest - At the end of each day, I know the Lord gives me the rest that I need to be restored and renewed. It allows me to draw in new strength to face a brand new day.

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For My Baby Girl (She makes me feel mushy...)

You’re finally here
My heart is overwhelmed
Rush of emotions come flooding in
As I see you for the first time
Tears roll down my cheek
While I stare at you
Disbelieving
Such a wonder and a beauty
Given to me
To love and to care for
I feel God’s love for me
Through you
And there’s a warmth
That comforts me
As I look into your eyes
As if God was looking back at me
Your soft skin
Your fresh baby scent
Your tender coos
Fill me with a joy
That reminds me I am truly blessed.

Out of Touch

So sorry to my millions of readers worldwide (wahahahahaha!!!!! just needed a good laugh before i proceeded) for I have been missing several days of posting already. My trusty Mac died on me last week and it's been in the shop for a week already. I'm really pissed because it's the fastest computer in my office and house, which means I'm left with my I-Book and it is just sooooooo slow. I'm not complaining. I am thankful to have another computer that I could use for work, but it just gets so frustrating when it takes 2 minutes to open a Word document! So right now I am using my mom's computer just to make this quick post to let you know that I am still alive and breathing!

To update you on how things have been the past week:

• Allan was hospitalized for 2 days. Why? Over fatigue. He hasn't been sleeping long enough to get the right amount of rest and he missed a few meals in the day. So he ended up with an extreme case of vertigo and dehydration. I saw him puking by the toilet when I walked into the house! Poor hubby! We ended up in the emergency room and eventually he needed to be confined so that they can give him tranquilizers and fluids.
• The day after I went home from the hospital to breastfeed Keira and get some rest, I woke up with a really high fever! Talk about a bad bug! I'm guessing that because of my lowered resistance as well due to lack of sleep, I might have picked up something in the hospital air.
• I had a bad encounter with my accountant over her negligence with taking care of our family's social security remittances and our health care claims. Because of this, we were unable to claim my maternity benefits and avail of Allan's hospitalization discounts. It really made me so upset that her failure to do her job properly cost us a huge amount of money (money that we could have saved to pay for other important expenses that are coming up), and I made sure I let her know this. Right now I've forgiven her and surrendered my disappointed to God, and just prayed for the Lord's continuous support for our business and finances.
  

But despite the seemingly bad experiences, I am still thankful that Nicky and Keira are well and healthy. I am also thankful that I am almost fully healed and so far, I've been pain free already for two weeks. It has made my nursing moments with Keira so much more pleasant, and I've enjoyed staying up with her until the wee hours even more.

I hope I could post my Thankful Thursday tomorrow. My time at work (thank goodness my hubby and I work together!), time with Keira and time with Nicky fills up all hours of my day, and probably will stay this way in the next months still. Thank you to everyone who still drops by and visits despite my erratic postings. I am praying my Power Mac comes back from the shop already and hopefully I will be able to get back in the loop.

Not Another One!

Time: Evening, preparing for bed
Scene: I'm sitting on Nicky's bed preparing him to sleep. I just changed into a tight tank top and pajamas, without my abdominal binder on (which i wear during the day to protect my surgery area and to keep my abdomen pressed in). It's Nicky's first time to see my abdomen hang loose underneath tight clothing.

Nicky: Oh no!
Me: Why?
Nicky (pointing to my bulging abdomen): You're having another one?
Me: What?
Nicky: You're having another baby? (Panic-stricken expression)
Me: No!
Nicky: Then why did it grow upward?
Me: Haha! Actually, it hasn't gone down yet!
Nicky: So there's nothing in there?
Me: Just my insides and my wound which is still healing inside. That's why it's still bulging. It will take awhile for it to go down. It's only been a month, Nicky.
Nicky (pretending to feel faint, plops down on the bed): Phew! That was close!

End of scene (:P)

Thankful Thursday 42

What CHRIXEAN is thankful for this week Time for mother and son bonding! Nicky has been feeling anxious again these past days, feeling Keira's overwhelming presence in the family and seeing her as a threat to his position as the only "baby" in the household and to the love that was previously entirely his to bask in. The effects have not been too good for him and for us. He has become increasingly loud and aggressive in his behaviour, he has regressed in so many ways (acting like a baby again), and has become overly sensitive to people's reactions towards him and Keira. It has gotten to the point where we've all become emotionally tired and stressed out due to lack of sleep, work and trying so hard to be understanding of Nicky's personal concerns. Because of this, i decided to work overtime yesterday evening so that I was free today to take Nicky out for a whole day of fun mom and son activities. It has been a long time since Nicky and I had actually done anything together for a full day, and this meant doing all the stuff that he wanted to do, and me joining in everything! I never thought I'd have so much fun, but I did! Especially when we spent the afternoon at the video arcade -- I didn't want to get off those car racing machines! We went to toy stores, book stores, coffee shops and soft play areas, and had a blast (and I didn't spend a lot! :D)! I really had a great time, and I know Nicky did, too, because he kept telling me he loved me and kept holding my hand while walking around the mall. I told him we should continue having mommy and Nicky dates on a more regular basis, especially since I am able to move around better now (my sutures have healed and have just a bit of pain left underneath). I look forward to our next date, and hopefully I will be able to strengthen our mommy and son relationship even more through our frequent times together. :D

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Celebrating life

JENNIE!

God bless you today, dearest friend of mine...

Take care and may the deepest desires of your heart come true for you today! :-)
HUGS & KISSES!

Can you spell R & R?

Here are pictures from our recent stay at Bellevue hotel last November 1. All four of us packed our overnight bags and hied off to the hotel to get much needed rest and relaxation, and to spend quality time together as a family. It was the first time for Keira to sleep in a place other than her room, and it was our first time to have a month old baby with us away from home. It was quite an experience! We found out that Keira hated the cold, and so she obviously didn't welcome the hotel room's crisp coolness. We tried turning off the aircon, but Nicky complained of the heat. But Keira seemed to love swimming in her sweat! What to do, what to do? Keira couldn't sleep in the cold, and all of us couldn't sleep in the heat! So where did Keira end up sleeping? -- in the bathroom! Hahaha! We parked her stroller right beside the bath tub, and she enjoyed every minute of sleep in the warm room while all three of us slept in the cold airconditioned bedroom! What a funny girl she's turning out to be. I just love her quirkiness! :P

I invited our relatives to join us to swim at the hotel's pool, and below are some of fun photos from an afternoon of complete R&R.

"Hi Keira! Swimming is fun! Jump in!"

"Daddy, swimming does seem fun. Can I go?"

"Mommy, it really isn't cool being stuck in here. I want to swim!"

"Uhm, this isn't what I had in mind...."

"Sigh. Ok, close enough. What'dya think bro?"

Spirit Break

It's Halloween and All Soul's Day, and I personally think my soul needs a break as well.

I haven't been getting a lot of

due to Keira's crazy sleep schedule.

I've been swamped with tons of project deadlines, too!


Which got me really

yesterday!

So today, since it's a holiday, my family and I are checking in at a hotel to get rest.
My body and spirit definitely need this break.

Otherwise, I will end up


HAPPY HAUNTING!

Thankful Thursday 41

What CHRIXEAN is thankful for this week TIME Time for myself. My dear hubby treated me to a wonderful foot pampering at my favorite Tips N' Toes place. It was the only day when I could just kick off my shoes, sink into an ultra-soft lounge chair, and doze off without any worries. Time for Keira and Nicky. Tuesday was a national holiday here, which meant no work for me and no school for Nicky. We spent the day at home together, and I was able to pour my energy into spending time with the kids without work to distract me. Time to cook. Because of the holiday, I was able to set aside time to prepare one of my hubby's favorite dishes -- my tuna cream pasta. Time to blog. This week has been really, really hectic. I've gone back to work (but mostly just doing my computer / desk jobs) and I've had to do a lot of catching up. This, in between taking care of Keira, has kept my schedules full.

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Thankful Thursday 40

What CHRIXEAN is thankful for this week My precious angels. Looking at them, staring at their faces, makes all things better. Links to other Thankful Thursdays --> As My World Turns EPH2810 Friday's Child Imagine Bliss Journalling Through the Valley Mommy Needs To Vent Mabuting Balita.Net Nightingale Looney Bin For Sure no_average_girl Show Them Through Me Uzi's Musings Russell And Aine's Haven Do you Have Issues? Gabrielle

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It's Our Anniversary!

It's Our Anniversary!

8 years! Seems just like yesterday when I first met you....
I love you, honey. I must have done something really good to deserve you.
Truly the best husband a girl could ever ask for...

Thankful Thursday 39

My apologies to all those who have been visiting me the past week and was disappointed to see my last Thankful Thursday still as my most recent post. I am still adjusting to my new schedule given the arrival of our new baby, and so blogging may have to take a back seat for awhile until we have a more stable routine. Nevertheless, I am still going to be faithful to my Thankful Thursday posts, as I believe that nothing should ever prevent us from being thankful for our week's blessings, and from sharing them with others.

What CHRIXEAN is thankful for this week I am so, so thankful for the support of my family during this period of healing, recovery and adjustment. I know I haven't told Keira's birth story yet, but to give you an idea of what i went through -- after 12 hours of labor all the way to 10cm of dilation, I had to undergo an emergency C-Section because Keira's head was in a transverse position and had gotten stuck in my pelvic area. I cried when I found out that after all the waiting and the laboring I would end up having a surgery. It just goes to show that nothing really is within your control. I had prepared well for a normal delivery -- making sure I ate well and did my walking exercises. Throughout my nine months I made sure that I wasn't sedentary and that I moved around as much as I could. So up until the last minute when Keira's head was not progressing because it had already gotten jammed in my pelvic area, I was still hoping I could her push her out. But my doctor said she was going into distress and that they had to get her out as soon as possible. I was disappointed because I felt like such a failure, for not having delivered her normally as I did with Nicky. I know it wasn't my fault, but the feeling of frustration stayed with me all the way until I arrived back home. It was a difficult first few days for me. I didn't expect the pain of having a cesarean delivery to be this bad. I was limited with my movements, which prevented me from really being there for my baby girl. I felt so bad that I couldn't even carry her, because it could hurt my stitches. Thank God for blessing me with a wonderful husband! Allan took on the mommy role from the moment I gave birth (till now, even!) -- watching over Keira through the night till early mornings, changing her nappies, bottlefeeding her (alternating with my breastfeeding), bathing her, putting her to sleep -- without expecting me to lift a finger till I was well and pain-free. Keira is now 2 weeks old, and by now, though I still have pains underneath my stitches, I have made an effort to hasten my healing by exercising and walking around as much as I could. I share baby duties with Allan now -- taking her to work with me (yup, i've gone back to work, but only a few hours a day just so I don't get stuck with unmet deadlines), so i could give my dear hubby the rest he well deserves. I am thankful for the business the Lord has given us -- a home-based business where we are able to adjust our work hours to what the situation calls for, and we are able to give the necessary attention to our children without sacrificing our careers. I am also especially thankful for my mom who offers an additional pair of hands when ours are already quite full. Having our family by our side right now is really a blessing for me, because I can focus on getting the physical, emotional and spiritual healing and recovery I most definitely need as I enter a new chapter in my life. Links to other Thankful Thursdays --> As My World Turns EPH2810 Friday's Child Imagine Bliss Journalling Through the Valley Mommy Needs To Vent Mabuting Balita.Net Nightingale Looney Bin For Sure no_average_girl Show Them Through Me Uzi's Musings Russell And Aine's Haven Do you Have Issues? Gabrielle

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Thankful Thursday 38

What CHRIXEAN is thankful for this week Kirsten "Keira" Soleil Keira's first photo with mommy Links to other Thankful Thursdays --> A Revision As My World Turns EPH2810 Friday's Child Imagine Bliss Journalling Through the Valley Mommy Needs To Vent Mabuting Balita.Net Nightingale Looney Bin For Sure no_average_girl Show Them Through Me Uzi's Musings Blog Charm Russell And Aine's Haven Gabrielle

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Thankful Thursday 37 In behalf of Chrixean, I would like to announce this exciting news... ...Kirsten Soleil has now become a very lovely member of the family. She was born weighing 7lbs & 10 ounces by caesarean section on September 28, 2006 at 3:54 AM. She, Allan and Nicky would like to thank the Lord for blessing them with this little miracle. Chrixean and baby are both doing very fine and will be out of the hospital in two to three days. By then, she will be posting pictures of their new bundle of joy. Links to other Thankful Thursdays (If you participate, leave your link in the comments and I'll post it below; or, you can post in the comments)

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Special thanks to Running2Ks for help with the code design. The Thankful Thursday Blogroll:

*Unicorn Child (new "home" of ThT and code)648r133A Child of GodA RevisionAnna's Place**As My World Turns****Friday's Child**Imagine BlissJournalling Through the Valley**LadyBug Crossing**Looney Bin For SureMabuting BalitaMomma's Life**Mommy Does It All****Mommy Needs To Vent****Nightingale****no_average_girl**Reverberate58Show Them Through MeSting My HeartUzi's MusingsYellow Rose's Garden

Where's the baby?

Yes, where is she?

I'm on my 39th week and still no sign of Keira coming out yet.

I am...

Tired
Impatient
Tired
Tired
Heavy
Concerned
Anxious

I don't want to be induced into labor again. I prayed for the last 8 months that this baby come out naturally, so I am not going to accept the idea of labor induction. My exact due date is on October 2, so I have less than a week to convince her that it's time to come out. I've been walking almost every other day already, and I may do it daily starting this afternoon if I know it to really help. If you see me in person, you won't even know that I'm due to give birth soon. The baby's sitting so high still, my OB-GYNE says she can still feel the baby's head "floating" a bit above my pelvic area.

Sigh.

I've read about the different ways to induce labor "naturally" without the help of an IV, but I don't feel comfortable trying any of these methods without my doctor's consent. So I guess, I'll have to just stick to walking some more and hope and pray that Keira cooperates with me.

To all the mommies out there who have given birth naturally (meaning no C-sections), have you ever gone beyond your due date? What did you do to make sure the baby came out already? Would really appreciate it if you shared with me your birth story...

... before I lose my mind waiting.....

Thankful Thursday 36

What CHRIXEAN is thankful for this week * Nicky is well and healthy. He's been down under the weather since last Friday, and we've been concerned because he just recently recovered from a bad cold and a fever. I'm thinking it might be because his classroom is closed and airconditioned, so when one kid gets a cough and a cold, it's much easier for the virus to be passed on. Good thing he was given an ok sign by his pediatrician this morning when we brought him for a check-up, and was given supplements and vitamins to boost his appetite and to increase his body resistance. * I've met several design deadlines before I gave birth. Early this month, my biggest worry was not being able to deliver most of my ongoing projects' deadlines thinking that I might not make it to Keira's arrival date. But I guess I should really leave it up to God to decide what should get done on time and when I should bring Keira into the world. With the help of my office team, I was able to submit all my projects on time, and I actually now have time to accept new projects while waiting for labor. * Dinner with friends. I recently had dinner with my really great friend Jennie G, and I was so happy to have spent time with her after a long while of not having a girls nightout. When I wasn't pregnant yet, I used to go out with her on dinner dates or for coffee chats at least twice a week, just to relax, have a good laugh and to swap gal stories. So it was quite a change for both of us when I got prego and had to cut down on the late night outs and the coffee meets, and just settle for text exchanges to keep us updated on stuff. Tomorrow I will be having dinner with my friends Bien and Jerome, who are in town for a visit. I haven't seen them in almost 4 months, so I am quite excited to have this time to spend with them too. What are you thankful for? I bet there are a lot that you can think of! If you want to join Thankful Thursday, just email me or leave a comment, and I will add you to the weekly list and to the TTh blogroll :-) Links to other Thankful Thursdays --> A Revision As My World Turns EPH2810 Friday's Child Imagine Bliss Journalling Through the Valley Mommy Needs To Vent Mabuting Balita.Net Nightingale Looney Bin For Sure no_average_girl Show Them Through Me Uzi's Musings Blog Charm Russell And Aine's Haven Gabrielle

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My Brain In a Knot

Image courtesy of Milana Huang's Knot Gallery

This is my first day in the past weeks where I am actually sitting at the computer doing nothing else other than to surf, blog and read blogs. Isn't that wonderful? I declared today an I-will-be-a-sow-and-just-eat-sleep-watch-tv-and-blog day. The downside to having your office right next to your house is the temptation to go to work and finish stuff that you know are still dangling over your head. So I had to fight this temptation (since I practically worked the whole day of yesterday anyway) by keeping my mind of the week's project line-ups and focusing on useless, senseless and unimportant stuff like YouTube videos, fastfood online delivery menus (just felt like having a totally unhealthy Jollibee meal for lunch today) and memes. I feel like my brain is in this really tight knot and it needs unravelling badly.

So be prepared to see a lot of useless information being unravelled right before your very eyes, as I will attempt to write down a list of 10 things about me which probably a lot of people didn't know (even my closest friends) that I just happened to think about (or remember, for a more appropriate word) right now and which I will list here because if I don't I will probably forget them entirely.

1. I had a pet cat at age 9 named Sylvia. I didn't buy her at any pet store. She just wandered into our house, so I decided to pick her up and lay claim to her fate. She stayed with me for less than a year because she ran off with another kitty. That's when I learned she was actually a Sylvestre....
2. I am scared of dentists. I am more scared of dentists than I am of gynecologists.
3. I want to have a tattoo. Why? Because it's cool. Because I am an artist. And because I am an artist, I want my art to be tattooed on my body for the world to see. Why don't I have a tattoo then? Because I am scared of needles. And so ends my dreams of having a tattoo...
4. I drove my schoolbus into a wall. I accidentally turned the ignition key of the bus instead of turning on the radio (which I was told to do!), and so the bus jerked and slammed into the school's wall. No, I wasn't drunk. No, I don't need psychiatric help. I actually don't even know why I did it in the first place. I probably had an out-of-body experience of some sort....
5. I don't like nature trips. I am a city girl through and through. I don't like the outdoors where there are trees and grass and hills and streams.... I don't like any place that didn't have a hotel and a mall nearby. I don't like camping (which is why I never joined the girl scouts). Trees, mountains and grassy areas to me are equivalent to bugs, SPIDERS, snakes, roaches and all things slimy, icky and gross.
6. I want to study ballet again. I did. I stopped. I never went back. Now I like the thought of dancing again.
7. My dream as a child was to be a world-renowned fashion designer. I had stacks and stacks of sketches of dresses and ball gowns. I have no idea what happened along the way, but I lost interest and ended up doing other things.
8. I never liked children. Up until the time I had Nicky, I would never have imagined myself being around a baby, much more to take care of one!
9. I lost a baby sister who I named Christine Anne Morse Percy. I don't know why I gave her such a strange long name, but I know for sure that if she were alive today, she wouldn't be too happy with me.
10. I don't wear perfume, I don't carry handkerchiefs and I don't bring make-up or a hairbrush in my bag. Perfumes make me sneeze, I lose hankies ALL the time, and I am not one of those girls who go to the ladies room to fix my hair or to retouch my makeup.

I just realized that 10 in my list is not enough. I will need a separate post to continue this list, but for now, I think these are ok. My brain is breathing more freely now, and I've accomplished my first senseless task for the day. Now I'm off to eat a heavy, unhealthy fastfood meal and go about doing absolutely nothing the rest of my lazy day.

Bye!

Thankful Thursday 35

What CHRIXEAN is thankful for this week Less pain on my back and sides which meant better sleep. It's either the baby has descended slightly, or my body has gotten used to the pain. Whichever the reason, as long as I get enough sleep, I'm happy :-) My newly hired designer. I know I was thankful about this same thing several TThs ago, but that designer resigned. So I'm thankful for this new one I got to assist me in my work. Seeing that I only have days to count before I give birth, having someone to do the work I will be leaving behind is a blessing. Good health. I am so happy that I made it to my ninth month healthy and strong. God has indeed granted this specific prayer. I continue to pray that my labor and delivery will be complication-free and that Keira would come out a healthy little baby. Links to other Thankful Thursdays --> A Revision As My World Turns EPH2810 Friday's Child Imagine Bliss Journalling Through the Valley Mommy Needs To Vent Mabuting Balita.Net Nightingale Looney Bin For Sure no_average_girl Show Them Through Me Uzi's Musings Blog Charm Russell And Aine's Haven Gabrielle

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Countdown...

I just met with my OB-GYNE recently and she told me that I am already full term at 37 weeks and that I can expect labor any day or any week from now. Do i look forward to this? I'm not really sure. I'm not saying I don't look forward to seeing Keira, because more than the excitement of a new baby in the family, I am absolutely curious to know how she looks! What I'm not sure about is whether I look forward to the whole birthing process again. Ok, so what mother actually looks forward to labor pains and delivery (Ok, for moms with their hands up, don't even bother saying anything....)? It's been 7 years since I last experienced this, and I don't know if I should feel more prepared since I know more or less what to expect, or if I should be more fearful because i DO KNOW what to expect.

I didn't have much of a dramatic birthing story to tell with Nicky, which is fine because drama in the delivery room is definitely not good. I gave birth to Nicky just a few weeks earlier than my due date, all because I had that sudden "energy surge" to fix the baby room and do a makeover till 2am. I woke up at 530am to pee and saw blood flowing out. So we went straight to the hospital that morning and was "confined" to it for the next 19 hours! I was at 2cm from 7am to 2pm, and stayed at 2cm until my OB-GYNE suggested to induce the labor. I quietly agreed, not knowing what I was saying yes to. And boy, was that decision a shocker! In the next few hours, my contractions intensified to 3-4X the pain I was experiencing earlier. It was like someone suddenly pressed the FAST FORWARD button on the player! Everything was happening so fast and the pain was horrible. I felt like sawing my body in two. Good thing I studied Lamaze breathing exercises, so the paced breathing helped me to calm down a bit and gave me the chance to rest in between contractions. I distinctly remember looking for my anesthesiologist at the 11th hour of my labor, because I was oh so ready to have my epidural in! I was getting upset and irritable by this time because my anesthesiologist was stuck in traffic and i was nearly about to tear off the labor bed's railings. After almost an hour she arrived and I willingly welcomed that frighteningly long needle to entire my spine, because at that point, nothing scared me or freaked me out any longer. I just needed rest from all the pain. Ok, so to shorten my story, I finally gave birth 8 hours after I got a "slight" reprieve from the pain. By 12am, I was sore, tired and very irritable. I just wanted to get the baby out and go to sleep! By 1220am, my OB-GYNE asked me for one big long push. My Lamaze breathing exercises and Kiegel exercises paid off well, because I finally delivered Nicky into the world! All I remember from that moment was my doctor saying, "here's Nicky!". She put Nicky on my chest, I looked at him once, smiled, then passed out. Next thing I knew I was in a recovery room with another girl who had probably just given birth too.

Ok, so that was 7 years ago. Fast forward to the present now. I am now 7 years older, I am more stressed out and have more work to do than I did back then, I move around more and I gained lesser weight. What does this all mean? Nothing, really, i guess. We've all listened to and read various versions of mothers' birthing stories, and there really is no definite pattern to how it will turn out whether this is your first delivery or second or third. What happened 7 years ago may or may not happen this time around. I may wish for a shorter labor, one that need not be induced but hopefully would just progress to delivery in its natural pace. I would also definitely wish that no complications arise from my labor where I will suddenly need an emergency C-section. So what will I expect to be different in this birthing experience? My prayer and my faith. My family and I have been declaring and claiming in faith that there will be no complications that will arise, that I will have an easier time in labor, that I will deliver fast and easy, and that Keira will come out normal, healthy and well.

With God with me in the labor room and the delivery room, I will leave the fear, the pain and worry in His hands, and just wait to welcome my baby girl into mine. :-)