Tuesday, September 12, 2006
I just met with my OB-GYNE recently and she told me that I am already full term at 37 weeks and that I can expect labor any day or any week from now. Do i look forward to this? I'm not really sure. I'm not saying I don't look forward to seeing Keira, because more than the excitement of a new baby in the family, I am absolutely curious to know how she looks! What I'm not sure about is whether I look forward to the whole birthing process again. Ok, so what mother actually looks forward to labor pains and delivery (Ok, for moms with their hands up, don't even bother saying anything....)? It's been 7 years since I last experienced this, and I don't know if I should feel more prepared since I know more or less what to expect, or if I should be more fearful because i DO KNOW what to expect.
I didn't have much of a dramatic birthing story to tell with Nicky, which is fine because drama in the delivery room is definitely not good. I gave birth to Nicky just a few weeks earlier than my due date, all because I had that sudden "energy surge" to fix the baby room and do a makeover till 2am. I woke up at 530am to pee and saw blood flowing out. So we went straight to the hospital that morning and was "confined" to it for the next 19 hours! I was at 2cm from 7am to 2pm, and stayed at 2cm until my OB-GYNE suggested to induce the labor. I quietly agreed, not knowing what I was saying yes to. And boy, was that decision a shocker! In the next few hours, my contractions intensified to 3-4X the pain I was experiencing earlier. It was like someone suddenly pressed the FAST FORWARD button on the player! Everything was happening so fast and the pain was horrible. I felt like sawing my body in two. Good thing I studied Lamaze breathing exercises, so the paced breathing helped me to calm down a bit and gave me the chance to rest in between contractions. I distinctly remember looking for my anesthesiologist at the 11th hour of my labor, because I was oh so ready to have my epidural in! I was getting upset and irritable by this time because my anesthesiologist was stuck in traffic and i was nearly about to tear off the labor bed's railings. After almost an hour she arrived and I willingly welcomed that frighteningly long needle to entire my spine, because at that point, nothing scared me or freaked me out any longer. I just needed rest from all the pain. Ok, so to shorten my story, I finally gave birth 8 hours after I got a "slight" reprieve from the pain. By 12am, I was sore, tired and very irritable. I just wanted to get the baby out and go to sleep! By 1220am, my OB-GYNE asked me for one big long push. My Lamaze breathing exercises and Kiegel exercises paid off well, because I finally delivered Nicky into the world! All I remember from that moment was my doctor saying, "here's Nicky!". She put Nicky on my chest, I looked at him once, smiled, then passed out. Next thing I knew I was in a recovery room with another girl who had probably just given birth too.
Ok, so that was 7 years ago. Fast forward to the present now. I am now 7 years older, I am more stressed out and have more work to do than I did back then, I move around more and I gained lesser weight. What does this all mean? Nothing, really, i guess. We've all listened to and read various versions of mothers' birthing stories, and there really is no definite pattern to how it will turn out whether this is your first delivery or second or third. What happened 7 years ago may or may not happen this time around. I may wish for a shorter labor, one that need not be induced but hopefully would just progress to delivery in its natural pace. I would also definitely wish that no complications arise from my labor where I will suddenly need an emergency C-section. So what will I expect to be different in this birthing experience? My prayer and my faith. My family and I have been declaring and claiming in faith that there will be no complications that will arise, that I will have an easier time in labor, that I will deliver fast and easy, and that Keira will come out normal, healthy and well.
With God with me in the labor room and the delivery room, I will leave the fear, the pain and worry in His hands, and just wait to welcome my baby girl into mine. :-)